Wow! What a year it has been! As I reflect back on 2021 it certainly was a year of transition! After making a life changing decision to become minimalists, we started the year by eliminating “things” in our life that were once important, now no longer needed. It was quite an eye-opening exercise that was necessary to prepare us for the next chapter we were about to embark on.

We sold our home of 32 years and much of our belongings, spent a month on Block Island then transitioned to full-time residents in a tiny 700 sq ft park home in Westerly, RI. We felt free! We saw a world full of opportunities. Our kids were grown, healthy and happy which allowed us to move out of the mom and dad roles we were in for 38 years to discovering Mike & Allison all over again. I was the happiest I’d ever been.

At the same time, all the changes brought sadness. I went from having Mike, my best friend and soulmate by my side every day to only seeing him for 48 hours on the weekends.

I was already experiencing a void after spending years struggling to save my children from self-destruction and wrong paths. Thanks be to God, they’re all safe, healthy and happy. They’ve fallen in love, moved out and created a life for themselves. Was my job over? It sure felt that way. They no longer needed me. I lost them. Or did I?

And…where were all my friends? Friends who were once as close as a house or 2 away or within a 15-minute drive are now 45 minutes or more away from me making visits and time spent together far less often.

Working remotely has been wonderful and has afforded me endless possibilities, yet another transition. I was working 8-10 hour days with 400+ coworkers then suddenly it was just me, myself and I sitting at a computer every day. The high-level stress and responsibility of maintaining revenue and the implementation of EPIC during a pandemic, coupled with Telehealth, Covid Testing and Covid Vaccine research, regs and billing, it was no surprise that I developed a severe case of shingles. A painful lesson learned. I now have in place the boundaries needed for the work/life balance I had been longing for. Yet…no more conversations by the water cooler or in the lunchroom, only zoom meetings and phone calls throughout the day. Thank goodness for my colleague, friend and confidant at work! Together we embrace each day with laughter and a positive attitude and lift each other up when discouraged. We have a great personal and professional relationship that has helped me adapt to the remote working environment.

I thought for sure settling into Timber Creek was going to be easy and provide me with the socialization and interactions I was missing. After all, I’m friendly, social and kind and always made friends easily. I came from a community where I had strong friendships and social circles and was not prepared for what was next. I was now living in a community where I was the stranger. A community where friendships had been formed for many years. I didn’t fit in. I became shy and withdrawn. I was so alone. No husband. No kids. No friends and no coworkers.

Despite my efforts to stay positive and happy I found myself fighting back tears almost every day. I was sensitive, tearful and very discouraged. How can I be so happy and so sad at the same time?

I prayed every day. I looked forward to the nightly phone calls with Mike when he would listen to me, let me cry and reassured his love for me. We talked for hours about our day, our jobs, the kids, planning for the weekend and for our future. Those daily intimate conversations strengthened our communication and relationship. We became closer than ever. I missed him more and more each day. I look forward to the day when this job is over and he will be home again every night.

Now, only a hop, skip and jump away, I began to rely on visits and support from my daughter, Meagan. Our once love/hate relationship transformed into mother and daughter best friends…something neither of us ever thought possible. What would I do without her? She’s been my rock! She, too, listened to me, comforted me and wiped away my tears.

Much thanks to my primary care physician and the help of a low-dose medication the tears subsided, and I began to feel myself again. The time I spent alone became key to my self-discovery and happiness. I enjoyed tranquil time to meditate and process my thoughts and feelings. I developed a deeper relationship with God and really got to know Allison. I became at peace with my weaknesses and imperfections. I came to terms with knowing not everyone likes me or wants to be my friend. I learned to like the kind, loving, fun person that I am. I’m thankful for the people God has sent to me and treasure the relationships I have. The connection I have with God, Mike, Meg, friends and mostly with me are stronger now than ever. I am content with my life.

Fall came quickly and we settled into a beautiful condo in Watch Hill for the winter. I can hear the waves and see the ocean as I sit at my desk each day and work. I am in awe of the beautiful sunsets and the nature all around me. Is this real? Can someone pinch me? Am I dreaming? Will I wake up in 2022 and everything change? What will 2022 bring…only time will tell. The year 2021 was certainly a year of transitions with lots of bumps in the road yet I overcame them and triumphed in the end. Whatever lies ahead I will trust that God will watch over me and continue to grace me with his blessings.

Why am I sharing all of this with you? People often tell me they wish they had my life and that I’m always so happy and loving life. So many say they live vicariously through me. I think it’s important to share that I, too, have sadness and challenges that I face on a daily basis. Despite what others say, happiness isn’t always a choice and it’s okay to be sad. It’s a human feeling and everyone experiences it. We need to be in touch with our feelings and turn to the ones that love us for support and unconditional love. The ones in our life that provide us with comfort and encouragement. We need to look deep into every situation as there’s always something to be grateful for. You’ve heard the phrase “Blessings in disguise.” I believe that there are blessings in every situation and if they don’t seem obvious right away, in hindsight they’ll appear. Always be thankful and grateful and God’s Grace and blessings will be bountiful!

I am truly grateful for the friendships and relationships I have on social media. Thank you for your friendship and support and for riding the tides with me! I wish you all a very Happy, Healthy 2022!

As I was writing this post, I noticed people on the sidewalk looking up onto the roof of my condo. I opened the door and asked what they were looking at. It was a beautiful snowy owl. I quickly ran outside to see it for myself. After years of looking on beaches for snowy owls, there one was…right on the roof over the place I was sitting. I looked up the meaning of the sighting of a snowy owl and I read on WildBirds.com that “seeing a snowy owl is perhaps the most serene encounter. It represents happiness and peace shortly.” Crystalclearintuition.com states “Owls represent wisdom, knowledge, change, transformation, intuitive development, and trusting the mystery” and “It is common to feel spiritually activated when you see or hear an owl. They are messengers from the spirit realm, bringing wisdom, truth, and understanding of the mysteries of life. Owls can show up to help you solve a problem or gain a higher perspective of a situation that for spiritual awakening!” What timing!